Monday Morning Quarterbacking, Cyclocross Style

One more month of cyclocross left, and I’m looking for a redemption race. No grandiose dreams of podiums, just my dignity. I don’t mind placing last or close to last if I leave it all out there on the course. But I didn’t bring anything to leave.

If this were a line graph, it would be going in the wrong direction.

The Cheshire CX Course.

The Cheshire CX Course.

Results were posted today from Cheshire, and I placed 14 of 15. I haven’t done that poorly in a race since my very first one.  What the hell happened to me out there? The lungs were definitely compromised, but looking at my specific results from the last 3 years, my best overall was when I got started in this sport 3 years ago. My very best lap time was from last year, and my absolute worst performance was from 3 days ago.

Reflecting, I wasn’t totally focused on the race. I’m not in crisis nor have anything distracting happening in my life, I just wasn’t amped up. It was cold. Like, really cold. My lungs did crap out on me in a pretty terrific way. Still–with all these things, I still should have done better.

And it’s not like these are fast times to begin with, but I always seek to improve, and this data shows no improvement. Quite the opposite.

Also, and quite curious, is the fact that in 2012, I was racing on the Specialized Tricross–which is an awesome bike, but it weighed 25 lbs, which might as well been a million lbs. What’s up with that?  Maybe the weight of it helped me bomb down the hills faster–I don’t know.

I could drive myself and anyone around me crazy with my constant questioning, analysis, and self scrutiny, but that won’t do any good. Time to move forward to another venue, with a stronger effort.

Cheshire CX 2014 Race Report

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I’ve always really liked the course at Cheshire. There’s a lot of woods time, and enough off the bike action to keep anyone happy. But yesterday, I had a less than stellar performance at Cheshire CX.

They started the women together with the Pro-3′s staged first, and the 3/4s behind them, to start a minute later. I just barely got a position on the front row, seeded 8th of the 16 who pre-registered. My start was decent enough for the first 100 feet, but after the first turn the next straightaway before entering the woods left me quite in the dust. I gulped the cold air in (about 38 degrees) and my lungs seized before the first run-up. I spent the next 2 laps not riding, but drowning. I don’t mean to be gross, but the cold was such a shock to my lungs they filled with fluid. I could not clear it fast enough. This has happened before at this race–it’s just that time of year and my lungs froze up.

The trails were much harder packed than I remembered–they almost seemed groomed to me. I moved through the woods alright–not as fast as I would have liked but the technical sections were fine. I finally reached the 80 meter hill, AKA Heckler’s Hill, AKA “The People’s Hill,” I think I heard it referred to a few other nicknames. The first 2 times up I was DYING. There was a person dressed as a cross between a teddy bear and Chewbacca, (or maybe an Ewok?) and I thought I saw the Easter Bunny… but I had my head down for most of it as I was off the bike and pushing upward. Drums beat loudly. Spectators leaned in and screamed in my ears. I was offered a San Pellegrino hand up (what, no beer? So disappointing). By the time I reached the top, I was light-headed and starry-eyed, and not because I was in love with that hill. Involuntarily, I slowed. I had to. I just wasn’t getting enough oxygen. I wasn’t really racing, I was just riding-just surviving. I didn’t want it to be like this, but it was.

By the 3rd lap, I was riding better. My lungs were a bit more under control and I just tried to ride well. I had been lapped by most of the Pro field and at least 1 cat 3 woman. Definitely not my day out there. I kind of knew it would be that way going in, too. I’ve ridden 10 miles in 2 weeks, which is a big problem. It was pretty cold yesterday, and I usually adjust well to colder temps, but I haven’t made the switch yet. I also crashed twice. Minor crashes, nothing serious but enough to slow me down enough to be passed by a rider I probably could have held off otherwise. Meh. I can’t worry about it too much. I’m 44 years old and doing this crazy sport for fun. And the race–it was fun. But I have a lot more fun when I’m really racing, when I’m physically performing, and this time, I just wasn’t.

So now, I have to find a race to do between now and the end of the season to end on a high note. I’m considering one or 2 other races….but the fields are tough, they just keep getting younger and faster, and I just keep getting older and slower. Maybe it’s time to get serious with that trainer in the basement.

Mo Bruno Roy in her Stars & Stripe World Champ Singlespeed kit, tearing up the course.

Mo Bruno Roy in her Stars & Stripe National Champ Singlespeed kit, tearing up the course.

On another note; the race was PACKED. This is my 3rd year doing this race and I have never seen so many people. They had fires going which took the chill off when you got close enough to them. The costumes were a blast and they had a huge turnout for the Singlespeed Race. As a bonus, Cyclocross Singlespeed National Champion, the one and only, Mo Bruno Roy raced. So awesome. I met Mo a couple of years ago and she is super nice, and I found out we are from the same town originally (she moved when she was still a kid). Anyway–any cyclist with a Boston accent is OK in my book :) I got a few pics of her in her stars and stripes kit. And the race announcers did an excellent job calling the race, keeping it lively with a professional feel.

No, it wasn’t my day at Cheshire yesterday–but still a great race, and growing in popularity. Put it on your list for next year if you can!


Keene Pumpkin Cross Race Report 2014

Me and mysterious co-blogger!  She exists!

Keene Pumpkin Cross

This was the first year of this race, held on the same weekend as the annual Keene PumpkinFest which is famous regionally, but this year, made national news when students from Keene State went crazy and started flipping cars and rioting. 84 were arrested. Made my years at UMASS look innocent. Fortunately, the race venue was far away from the carnage of PumpkinFest. It was a small race, a little over 100 racers in total. Heather joined me for this one, with 15 total in our combined category (3/4). I wanted 8th at least. I got 10th. I raced–mailed nothing in. While I wanted 8th, I know my competition was fitter and earned the better positions. I am happy I held off one racer, who was seriously reeling me in during the 3rd and 4th laps. At a critical point, I managed to hold her off (even when I dropped my chain after a remount), and stayed away for 10th. I like the racing, and I had some good racing here.


The course was also somewhat muddy–not terrible, but greasy and boggy in spots. There was a lot of sand, a lot of flat, powerful sections (which do not favor me), and a very cold wind. I wore leggings for this race. There was a good run up, a log jump, sand, and a couple of barriers.  It sounds like a lot of technical elements, but it really wasn’t. Anyone good at crits or road racing would have the advantage here, and that sure wasn’t me.


I had fun, and that’s the point. Set on a lake with the autumn New Hampshire foliage as a backdrop, you couldn’t ask for much better. They had hot chocolate and hot dogs and other goodies, but I did not partake. It was a nice little venue–great for friends and family alike. I’ll do this again next year if they have it.


More photos from Geoff Martin, who is a great photographer. See his other work here.

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Providence KMC Cyclocross Festival 2014 Race Report

I’ve fallen behind on my blogging this season, for a ton of great reasons.  Never mind those, here’s the report:

Providence KMC Cyclocross Festival

I can say with a lot of confidence, after experiencing this race for the third time, that this is my all time favorite cyclocross race. The buzz around the course was that there is a push for this venue to be a future World Cup location.  I have never met anyone who doesn’t LOVE Providence in terms of a cyclocross race.  It’s really a remarkable venue, remarkable course, and amazing ride, every. Single. Time.  This time they had a total of 3 flyovers, one of them a double flyover, which was -OMG- totally awesome.  And a jump!  How awesome is that?

114 women lined up and I was one of them.  I finished 86th and had a great time.  I’m never going to do “well” at this race, but I’m always going to love it.  I was happy with my performance.  Good race, went hard, saw friends, had fun.  Mission accomplished.  Here are some pictures:

Me and my 13 year old nemesis, Maddy.  She beat me this time!  Watch for her to keep moving up the ranks.

Me and my 13 year old nemesis, Maddy. She beat me this time! Watch for her to keep moving up the ranks.

Providence 2014.4.JPG

Around the hairpin media tower.

Steady pedal section--wasn't much of this but when it came, you took it.

Steady pedal section–wasn’t much of this but when it came, you took it.

World Cup?  Yes, please.


Rapha Super Cross Gloucester-Day 1 Race Report and Photos

Great day today in Gloucester–warm temperatures, bright sunshine, and the sparkling Atlantic highlighted a bone dry, rocky and dusty course. I spent 13 hours sitting yesterday, between the job and the commute and the trip to Boston. And I didn’t ride much last week–about an hour in total on the trainer. Still–today at Gloucester I PR’ed all my segments from last year and had a solid mid-pack finish. I raced this one, really raced. I stepped off the gas for a breath or two for about 10% of the race, but I raced the rest of it. I feel like I’m coming back a little here, and maybe some form in finally coming (slowly but surely).

If I'm out of the saddle I'm not mailing it in.

If I’m out of the saddle I’m not mailing it in.

I had a good start, getting into the first 30% of the group and staying with it for the first lap. Into lap 2 I faded a bit, but refocused and kept my head in the game. One of the great things about a big race like Gloucester is that because you’re there with 80+ other racers, you are going to have contact with someone for a good part of the race–making you feel like you are, well, racing. It’s very motivating.

The hill steps.

The hill steps.

I didn’t get a top 50% finish, but came sooooooooo close, placing 44th out of 86 racers. I scored low enough points that it will bring my average down (a good thing), and I was happily surprised to see all the PRs I set. That was really encouraging. AND, I didn’t stutter step once. I got caught behind too many women who stalled in the soft dusty soil on off-camber rises which forced me off the bike–that cost me time, and possibly at least one place. Best of all, I had a sprinting photo-finish with a new young friend, a talented youngster who I played leap frog with the last 2 laps. I managed to sneak past her at the last barrier section and immediately sprinted up the paved hill to the finish. I knew she’d try to catch me, especially when I heard her dad screaming “Get her!” I barely held her off, and nosed her out by mere inches. We finished with the same time, but this was a blast of a horse race. When we crossed the line and turned to her and said “That was AWESOME!” I hope she felt the same. That will probably be the last time I manage to beat her, she’s up and coming and getting better every race.

Additionally, I got my mysterious co-blogger to race today. I think all my peer pressure is paying off, as she’s now talking about racing Night Weasels this week.



All & all I had a great day at the races and am happy with my effort. Gloucester is one of the biggest and best cyclocross races in the country for a reason. Unfortunately I can’t make the races on Sunday but if you have a chance, check out the action on the Gnarly Monkey.


PS–a big thanks to my high school friend Marylou for playing photographer!  All the pics of me are courtesy of her.

The pics of the guys are mine.  Enjoy!

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Uncle Sam GP Cyclocross-Troy, NY Race Report

I used to live in Albany, NY once upon a time, in a tiny studio basement apartment. I didn’t spend a whole year there, maybe 6 months, so I never got a good lay of the land and had only been to Troy once. Despite this, I found Prospect Park pretty easily. I only missed one turn, made a “get directions and find a bathroom” stop in a Stewart’s Convenience store, where the manager threw a homeless man out of the public restroom for my benefit. Yikes. But this post is about the cyclocross race. So let’s get to that.

It was cool and windy Saturday morning. I had, in a too big for my britches moment, reg’d for both the Cat 4 morning and the Elite 1/2/3/4 race in the afternoon. I didn’t stay for the Elite race, mostly because I couldn’t justify killing and extra 4 1/2 hours on a beautiful Saturday when I hadn’t spent any time with my girlfriend in 2 weeks. Priorities.

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One of the Cat 3 Men approaching the FUNNEST part of the Day 1 course, the snaking downhill.

I pre-rode a lap and thought the course was just great. Grassy, twisty, turny, with a wonderful snaking steep downhill (my favorite part). This course still ran pretty fast. There was only 8 women starting after the Cat 5 men, and the juniors lined up behind us. The start was at the bottom of a long steady hill, and if you’ve been paying attention, you know this is not a good sign. I am not great friends with hills, inclines, climbing, or anything resembling anything that gains in elevation. Hills like to push me back, to flick me off like an annoying gnat. And while this wasn’t a super steep hill, it was a long stretch, and by the time the course leveled off, even the juniors had past me. Dead last. First time that has ever happened.

But I tried not to let that rattle me. I had the entire field in sight, spread out like a line of bees from a hive. I caught a young woman and past her, and just tried to keep in contact with the line of women in front of me. They slowly slipped away from me and I was soon alone. I passed a couple of the men who started ahead of us, and a few juniors, and passed another woman who had shouldered her bike and was running the course, obviously dealing with a mechanical. Soon I was all alone again, unsure of what was happening in front of me, but realizing it could be anything, so I just pushed.

I executed well, more or less, with the technical. I didn’t bonk or gas out on this race. I had one big fail when I didn’t get into a small enough gear for a technical turning hill and had to dismount, but I recovered and remounted with a good kick, and got a little cheer from onlookers (hey onlookers, every little bit of cheering really does help). I tried to go fast where I could, to sprint where I could, use the downward momentum from downhills and to ride the corners swiftly. I felt good with my effort, but was really not happy with the result. I lost any chance at a mid pack finish on that starting hill. And who knows if I could have hung on if the start had gone differently? I think what’s become really clear to me is that my speed and conditioning is no where near where it was this time last year. Being unemployed half of 2013 was awful, but man did it make me faster. I came in 6th, I should have come in 4th if race predictor is to be trusted. So not the result I wanted, but a better race for me. I had fun and raced more of this race.

Next weekend is Gloucester, and I’m only doing Saturday, and hanging out to watch the Elites in the afternoon. I’m really looking forward to the day. The field limit is 85 and sold out. I’d like to crack the top 50%. If I have a shot at this goal then this is the weekend to do it. I’m still not where I’d like to be to achieve a top 50%, especially in a field of 85, but I performed better this weekend than last, and felt stronger than any other race this season, so I’m heading in the right direction.


PS-And addendum to Big Elm’s post–I didn’t come in last, I was 9th of 12. Further evidence to never, ever quit.

A Bad Day at the Races

If cycling is suffering, cyclocross is the sublimest form of that suffering. Still, there are days when “suffering” doesn’t begin to describe the experience. Yesterday at Big Elm CX in Great Barrington, MA, was that day for me.


The racing is never easy, by it’s very nature. We all raced together, 46 Cat 4/5 Men, 12 Women, and 6 juniors, in the same time slot, spaced about a minute apart. It started off typically. I got out-hustled of a good place on the front line, but despite this, my start wasn’t awful.

After launching from the staging area, my start was "ok."

After launching from the staging area, my start was “ok.”

This was another open category and there were Elite women racing with the group. I didn’t hang on long with them, and for the first 1/4 of the lap, felt like things were going ok. It was an extremely hot and humid day, and my pre ride was brief, just a lap and 1/2.  The short pre ride left me pouring sweat and gulping Gatorade, and realizing I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about hydration.


Early in the first lap before things got really spread out.

Here at the start, I was feeling pretty normal. I tried to stick with a Cat 3 racer early on, but she kept gaining momentum away from me and I didn’t see her again. Later, I was passed by a woman from the local cycling club, and tried to stay on her wheel. I was already sweating hard and laboring at the course, which was a wonderful, twisty, off-camber lovers delight of a cyclocross course. We came to an area of loose stones that for me, wasn’t rideable, followed by a short set of stairs. I noticed a man from the Cat 4/5s off his bike at the top of a stairs, leaning over his handlebars and breathing heavy. I clawed past the local rider at this point–this was about 1/2 way through the first lap. I heard her breathing heavy and working as a moved past her. A few hundred yards later, she overtook me, and although I was hot and feeling tired already, I thought “she is suffering too” and wasn’t concerned. I’d get her in a bit. We were now moving into the second lap. My fatigue deepened and I started to slow. The local woman started to fade away into the distance as the heat, the course, and my lack of preparation started to devour me.

Trying to still execute on the technical.

Trying to still execute on the technical.

The second lap was painful. I disintegrated. Nausea overtook me, only to ease and be replaced with dizziness. I went into the race with some pretty high hopes and thought I’d do pretty well. 4 same day registrations with some of the elite women adjusted that expectation, but I was fading fast, and I couldn’t remember if there was anyone else behind me. I didn’t think there was. My speed had slowed to “ok, just try to move forward” but I was falling apart hard. I could not believe I was doing this poorly, I had had a great ride the night before, breaking my own QOM record by 2 mph* ( * hmmm, that’s a good clue). My body was barely responding to move efforts to move forward and now I started to unravel emotionally. And here’s the part, dear reader, I get vulnerable with you. I’m going to admit to you, I started to cry. I wanted to quit. But my crying was without tears, as my body was using every once of moisture contained in it to cool my completely overheated body. Waves of heat radiated from my face, I fought dizziness and my own emotional irrationality of being so upset at myself for sucking so badly. I really thought, I should stop, this is already over for me. There was a spot, right near the parking lot where my car was feet away from the course, I could bail there, and just leave. I thought yes, that’s a good option, as I rounded the corner to decent down a hill the would dump me within 30 feet of my car.

At the bottom of the hill, was my girlfriend, aiming her camera at me to capture me coming down the hill.  I saw her and decided to just keep going.

This is me deciding not to bail on the whole race.

This is me deciding not to bail on the whole race.

Deciding to continue did not end my suffering, although I stopped crying. I snapped out of the quitting mode and shifted into the only other option for me at that point: surviving. I began my third lap.

This was perhaps where my sucking became high art. My speed could have been easily matched by a gang of preschoolers on push bikes. I walked the run ups-I had to. My climbs were crawls. I tried to use descents as face-saving gifts. I had absolutely nothing to give, I was a shadow of a cyclist, a ghost of my normal self. I was nearly invisible.

Look how pretty!  Suffering is not super-glamourous.

Look how pretty! Suffering is not super-glamourous.

I finished the race.

This was the very closest I go to quitting any sporting event in my life. I felt a lot of emotions about this.

  • Doubt
  • Disappointment
  • Wounded Pride
  • Ownership
  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Acceptance
  • Shame

I know everyone was hurting out there. I was far from alone. One guy was overheard saying “I was hoping I would flat so it would end.” Aside from this, I should have performed better. And I’m not about to let myself off the hook for it.

I don’t know if I will ever stop marveling at how badly things went out there for me today. Of course, it could be a lot worse. I didn’t crash, I executed pretty well with the technical stuff. But my speed? I know I’m not so fast but wow did I redefine that today.


Today I took a nice ride on a beautiful day and thought things over. Yesterday was a really big failure for me. I didn’t meet a range of expectations I set for myself-expectations that were reasonable and within my ability. And that bothers me. It’s popular to talk about “Failing Faster” and I think about this concept beyond the typical references to start-ups and business. I apply it to many aspects of my life…but essentially failures are teachers, and motivators, and not ever having them does not foster growth. This was disappointing, but ultimately essential. Everyone has a bad day. I had a really terrible one yesterday. Seriously guys, I didn’t even feel good after it was done–a rare joyless cycling experience. But I have renewed focus on my next race, which is looking like a little trip to Troy, NY for Uncle Sam Cyclocross Gran Prix. Not 100% decided but it’s looking like a redemption race that I would like under my belt before it gets real in Gloucester in late September.




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