Adventure with Intention
As the year winds down and we all start thinking resolutions, I’m left to consider what I did this year and what I didn’t.
In reality, I have a ton to feel proud about. But if I’m being honest, I have to admit one of my character flaws emerge when I look back on the year. I have a problem with comparing myself to others. I’m always thinking I could have ridden more miles, climbed more hills, hiked more, skied more, mountain biked more. My desire to be outside and exploring is compulsive. It’s as essential as breathing. Yet I am never fully satisfied. I always want more. And at the end of the year, I feel, somehow, that I could have done more.
This is crazy talk. I was outdoors all the time. I raced 10 cyclocross races, 1 mountain bike race, 1 Spartan Sprint. I did the JAM Grand Fundo with Laura. I joined a cyclocross team, which was a great step ahead in my cyclocross experience. I went hiking and camping and riding in beautiful Vermont. My son and I panned for gold and chased crayfish in a shallow river there. I gave him his first knife–a Swiss Army and taught him to whittle. I snowshoed and skied and trail ran and I can keep listing these things to prove….to myself…..that it was enough.
I don’t want to falsely give the impression my insecurities are the primary driver of my outdoor life. I’ve always loved exploring and being outdoors. I love the camaraderie of competition, pushing myself and the shared experience of pushing physical limits. I love finding new places. I feel simultaneously fascinated and at ease with nature. I suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) and I shouldn’t. I don’t have oodles of free time and to get outside and do any of the many things I do get to do–it takes a lot of planning and intent. Constant intention.
One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I’m ridiculously persistent. I feel this is one of my better attributes and it’s served me well. So as 2015 comes to a close, I’m considering what adventures lie ahead. In 2016 I intend to do the following:
- Another 10+ races of Cyclocross
- Compete in Cyclocross Nationals in Hartford, CT in 2017
- Bikepacking Trips
- Spartan Sprint Boston
- Warrior Dash Boston
- Rugged Maniac
- DH Mountain Biking @ Berkshire East
- The JAM Grando Fundo
- More Camping
- More Hiking
We all lead busy lives with demands on our time. So many things are important and balance is hard to strike. Here’s to living with more intent to get outdoors and into another great adventure.